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The 10 Worst Films of All Time

By Thomas Bean | I try not to watch bad films. I especially try not to watch putridly bad films. Sometimes that wish is not granted and I get suckered into watching crapola.

I don't know if these are truly the worst films of all time, but they certainly are ten of the worst. I do realize that lists like this do not mean too much because Hollywood has produced an enormous amount of lousy junk through the years. (Heck, I'm sure 50 movies from the late 1990s alone come to mind!). Still, it is simply a list to spark conversation. For instance, WHY are these films so bad? What makes them so?

Any thoughts to other putrid films, feel free to speak up. The films cannot be B-films (or less than that, even), but must be major releases. Art films that only receive play in select sites do not count. Only movies that actually played in cinema houses and were endured by real public audiences.

Also, we'll throw out any straight to video releases and any sequels. Sequels are too easy of targets (most of them are made simply to continue making money off the original). So, Ace Ventura 2:When Nature Calls is safe from this list.

(P.S. Was 1987 the worst year ever for movies?)

10) Dirty Dancing (1987)
Amazing what a few years later and a little more maturity can do for one's movie watching. When Dirty Dancing came out, I thought it was a good film. Not a great film, mind you, just a good film. A few years later, I could not even stomach it enough to get halfway through it. It is not nearly as bad as other films on this list, but boy it wasn't good either! A few years ago, Conan O'Brien led a crusade to get the film rereleased for its 10th anniversary. It did, and O'Brien (in a great monologue) actually apologized to his audience, even telling them that it was terrible and to please not go see it. I concur. I did not go see the rerelease, but did catch it on TBS -- and then decidedly changed the channel.

9) Ishtar (1987)
This is often considered the worst film of all time. It was bad, but not the worst of all time. But it does deserve, if nothing else, a token mention on a list of this sort. After all, few films have an entire soundtrack in which the songs were purposefully written to be wretchedly bad. It was a comedy that was never particularly funny, and that spells disaster. The 80s, in general, were not kind to top-quality films, and Ishtar was probably the worst.

8) From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
This was produced because of Quentin Tarantino wrote it and Robert Rodriguez was willing to direct it. Also, George Clooney and Salma Hayek were willing accomplices in this tragically bad film. Tarantino should never EVER be allowed to act. He stinks at it. Stick with writing and directing. But after this film, I am willing to reconsider the writing allowance as well. The movie is about a bar that brings in truckers and vagrants, but the bar turns into a vampire hut at dusk. Thus, these crooks that have come to the establishment must survive from dusk ‘til dawn. Like all Tarantino films, there is ample blood and violence, but unlike Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, Dusk lacks any redeeming value, not even a hint of any.

7) Nothing But Trouble (1991)
Another film in which based on the stars involved you cannot help but be bewildered at how bad this film is. It was not well acted, not well produced or put together. Who wrote the script anyway? Because that stunk, too. Pretty much the entire film was a waste and people were lured in with the bait of Demi Moore, Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd. This is one of those movies that make one ask, "Why is there no quality control for movies?" and “If this film was produced, what kind of stuff do they decide NOT to produce?"

6) Leonard Part 6 (1987)
Confession: I love Bill Cosby. I grew up listening to his records (yes, I grew up with a record player) and would listen often. My family also loved the Cosby show, as did I. I say all of this because Cosby's movie Leonard Part 6 was nothing short of pathetic. As much as I respect the man and love his comedy stand-up, I cannot excuse this film on any level as either funny or mediocre at best. Cosby's movies (remember Ghost Dad?) typically were not great, but this one was poorer than poor than destitute. It pains me to think of Cosby with any connection to this film, but not as much as it did actually watch it. Ugh, it was bad.

5) Monty Python's Meaning of Life
For a comedy troupe that made brilliant films like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and The Life of Brian, you have to wonder what happened with this film. Did they simply run out of material? It has some very funny scenes, but they are few and far between. Most of the film stinks. I love Monty Python. I love their TV series, the other films and the live shows (that I've seen on tape). So, I was shocked at just how bad this film is. Couldn't believe it, so I tried watching it again. But I couldn't get very far into it because my synopsis the first time I viewed it was still painfully correct.

4) Rocky Horror Picture Show
One person's treasure is another's trash. This is one of those films. I hated this film. I honestly have had the masochistic nature (no pun intended) of trying to watch this film several times. See, I had several friends in high school that adored this film. Well, after giving it more chances than it ever deserved, I sincerely wish it would time warp itself out of existence. It is putrid, distasteful and lame. Despite the cult following and the stars involved (Susan Sarandon and Tim Curry), it stinks.

3) Mafia! (1999)
I hate leaving movies early -- ever. Even when I went to see this junk. It stunk. It was worse than living in a sewer. However, if you do live in a sewer, many of this films tired and lame jokes would be very familiar. It had promise (a spoof on mafia films) and it had actors (Lloyd Bridges, Jay Mohr and Christina Applegate), but it had nothing else. Spoofs can either be really funny (Naked Gun) or really lame (numerous), but this one was the worst ever.

2) Event Horizon
It begins as an interesting film. It seemed as if it was a new version of the Alien series. But it lies. The first half hour or so is intriguing. A spaceship that was lost for several years without a trace suddenly has reappeared with no life on board. A second ship is sent in to investigate what happened.

I'll cut to the chase. Evidently the first ship (named Event Horizon) traveled to Hell. The crew mutilated their bodies and went utterly insane (in one scene, the captain of the former ship has clawed his eyes out and holding them outward). The investigation crew begins to lose its mind too.

It is not so creative or interesting as it is disgusting, disturbing, horrifyingly bad and grotesque. It is the scariest movie I have ever seen. But it is hardly the best horror or sci-fi movie. It began with promise, turned bad, got worse, continued its painful slide and never even tried to get better again. Please, please, please do NOT watch this film ever. I saw it once and that was more than enough. I'm still trying to scrub its hideousness off my body.

1) The Avengers (1998)
Absolute worst film of all time. I went into the theater thinking, "This film is based on a widely popular action TV show. It stars Sean Connery, Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes. It may not be great, but how bad could it be?" Much, much, much worse than death by ant bites. It was worse than prison time. And I paid to get in? Here is a quick synopsis: the film lacked coherency, cogency, cognizance and coordination. I don't think there was even a director. I think they must have had look-a-likes for the actors. And I know it was the worst movie I had ever seen. Never before had a film had so many legit stars and gone backwards so much. You actually had to wonder whether anyone even watched the film during editing (or even if it was ever edited), much less the final product. Needless to say, if you ever see this video at your local video store, don't even touch it lest you contract leprosy.

 

 READER RESPONSES

Brad
Thomas, what about ÒJaws 4: The RevengeÓ? If a shark were trying to kill me, IÕd head for Nebraska over Barbados. Also, you are correct about ÒRocky HorrorÓ It is a bad movie, but, what your friends who love the film probably remember was not so much seeing the movie but doing the movie. It was a fun thing to do at midnight when there was nothing else going on. We would take supplies such as toast, flashlights, squirt guns and newspapers to the theater and have a great time trashing the movie. Some people would even dress up as some of the characters. It was great when everyone in the theater ran down to the front and danced the Time Warp. In some places, there were people who acted out the film live along with the happenings on screen. I would suggest to anyone that they go to a theater with a real Rocky Horror veteran to see what the big deal was. Find someone who was in his or her late teens in the 1970Õs. They should know what to do. Just a sugestion.


Matthew Prins
Hate to start a "but what about" series of responses, but what about AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN? And NORTH? And MAC AND ME?


Dan Buck
Prins - Too late - you've begun it.

I'd like to add:

BATMAN & ROBIN
THE BIG HIT
THE LAST ACTION HERO
and just to emphasize my angry disappointment in a film that had me all excited....
A.I.

Great catch on Nothing But Trouble, by the way!


Robert Lee
What about the ten most overrated movies of all time? Heres two: Titanic and E.T. Anyone care to fill in the rest?


stef
i completely disagree with Dirty Dancing (fun for a 13 year old), Ishtar (quite funny for songwriters), From Dusk Til Dawn (vampires rule) and The Meaning of Life (M.P. rules too)... not that they're great films, just that i can think of many *many* worse films that have no redeeming value to anyone watching, whether they are a teen or a songwriter or whatever. On the top of that list is a film called Millineum that came out in the early 90s... followed by many horror films that are worse than From Dusk... however, you did hit the nail on the head with Even Horizon. it sucked!!


Marie
I'll put my two cents worth in as well. I agree muchly about "The Life Of Brian" being absolutely terrible. I rented it once and was tempted to stop it halfway through because I couldn't stand it. However, I'd like to add "MARS ATTACKS" as one of the worst films ever made. I think it was supposed to be funny, but it was just....stupid. And that's all I have to say about that!


Anders Bergstrom
I would have to add PATCH ADAMS to the list of worst movies ever. It's an example of the worst "feel good" drivel ever made. It's bad on so many levels, from Robin Williams overacting, the way it portrays itself as true but strays so far from the true story of Dr. Adams, to the way it beat's you over the head with the sappy plot to manipulate your emotions.

A BEAUTIFUL MIND could have been another PATCH ADAMS, and some, including Jeffrey Overstreet felt ABM was, but I feel PATCH ADAMS is in a class of its own.


Daniel
How can you have a 10 worst movies list and not include "Plan 9 From Outer Space"? This is bad movies taken to an art form! It's so bad, it's brilliant! Long live rotten movies!


Daniel
Here are four films I wish I had never seen:

The Cider House Rules (the more you think about it, the more the entire story collapses).
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (Leo is nails-on-blackboard annoying and the film wants to laugh at AND make you feel guilty for laughing at the mother).
Conspiracy Theory (let me out, please, let me out of this terrible excuse of a story).
Shawshank Redemption (ok, not the worst, but really a NO BIG DEAL film...predictable for every second and too long).


lilac macduff
1. Eyes Wide Shut
2. Forrest Gump
3. A.I.
4. Godfather III
5. Mad Max: Thunderdome
6. Alien resurection
7. Interview With A Vampire
8. The Island Of Dr. Moreau
9. Independence day
10. and every single film kevin costnner has ever been in. MAKE HIM STOP!


David
Three movies that were huge disappointments to me were "Braveheart", "Good Will Hunting", and "Shine".

The plot of "Braveheart" can be summed up as follows: (with Scottish/Aussie brogue) "I just wanted to be a peaceful Scottish farmer, but now you done raped and killed my wife, so I'm gonna have to kick your ass and win freedom for all of Scotland." And though I could except the many historical inaccuracies in the film, the one that was just too hard to swallow was the suggestion that William Wallace fathered King Edward I grandson. The actual grandson was born over a year after Wallace's death. Gosh, that Braveheart was a potent lad.

As for "Good Will Hunting", it had an interesting premise: Why is a mathematical genius plodding through life as a blue collar laborer? But then the story fails to deliver. The terrible psychic wound that has prevented Will Hunting from realizing his genius is the result of his father having physically abused him. Oh my God, I bet something that terrible has never happened to anyone before. How did he ever survive? But the part of the story that really annoyed me was when Chuckie, in an emotional moment, tells Will that one day he expects to come pick up Will for work only to discover that Will has finally accepted his genius and moved on. Then later in the film Chuckie's expectation is fulfilled. Only problem is Chuckie knows Will has moved on, so why is he going to his house to pick him up for work? So we can have a cloyingly sentimental cathartic moment? Please! This movie should have been about Robin William's character Sean and why he and Lambeau had a falling out.

Finally, there's the critically acclaimed "Shine". I didn't mind Rusch's performance, but parts of this story just don't jibe. This whole ridiculous rant about Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3 was a little much. "Oh God, what ever you do boy don't play Rach's 3rd, you'll never survive. Why I've seen grown men rip there heads off rather than play Rach's 3rd." Really! It's a difficult piece of music not "Sophia's choice" or something. And what's the deal with Gillian? It's never explained to us why a relatively normal woman would marry a nut job like Helfgott. Of course the answer is obvious. She saw a potential cash cow in Helfgott. But since the consent of the real Gillian was needed to make the movie, that angle couldn't be explored.

There's other acclaimed films that have driven me batty as well, but I'll save them for another time.


Ryan Griffin
Braveheart was awesome. A.I. was pretty good. And Conspiracy Theory was really good!! The only person I agree with is Thomas Bean. Go Thomas!!


CM
The worst movie I've seen has to be "Hudson Hawk" - a movie I had the displeasure of sitting through with 2 friends of mine in middle or high school - and then I had to sit through it AGAIN on a bus trip. It is maddeningly bad.

Recently I've sat through such stinkers as "Rollerball" and "Reindeer Games" - two films with no merits. "Tomb Raider" was also terrible.

"The Accidental Tourist" was a bad accident I took with a good friend when I was about 12.


Scot
What? No one mentioned the painful release of "Cabin Boy" in the early 90's? Talk about wretched...nothing I've seen since has been that bad. The embarassing thing is I watched the WHOLE movie; I kept thinking it has to get better, no movie could truly be this bad.


Jamee
Ok. Another what about.... What about Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? I totally didn't get it. It was like a bad Chinese Star Wars. It had such bad writing. There were no surprises as to anyone's concealed identity. The plot was completely predictable. And why were they balancing on the tree tops? What was that all about? The director Ang Lee, who is normally so wonderful, seemed completely confused. The desert story should and could have been a whole other movie. By the time that part of the story was told, I didnt care about Michelle Yeo's character anymore.


Kevin Reynolds
I have to say...Contact. What the heck was that all about??!!! I watched it at 2 am when I worked at a movie theater. I thought, cool, it's gonna' have aliens in it. But nnnooooooooooo! Instead, we get about 21/2 hours of bulid-up to...NOTHING! It was the biggest waste of time I ever saw! An alien movie is an alien movie is an alien movie. That's it. I don't want to see how excited someone else is about seeing and discovering aliens. I want to be the one excited. Geez! I could go on for hours. The only good thing about watching this movie...working at the theater, I got all the free popcorn I wanted to throw at the screen when it was over.


movie critic
Random Hearts, starring harrison ford was the worst movie I have ever seen. Its just pure torture and scales new heights in boring one to death.


Rob
Did no one think that -Signs- was a complete waste. The acting was terrible, the storyline was "yeah right" and I've seen better "aliens" in most '50's movies! The only reason I watched the whole thing was I knew it had to twist soon or get better or something. Boy, was I wrong!


Kacynzskinski
How about "House of 1000 Corpses?" That is the ABSOLUTE WORST FILM IN CINEMATIC HISTORY . . . PERIOD! It has no plot, no dialogue, lame characters, some of the worst acting I've ever seen, it's boring, stupid, and worst of all, it has absolutely no violence nor gore whatsoever. 0 out of 10 stars. Total crap!


Carol
Its amazing how opinions differ ! "Daniel's" list mentions some excellent films as his worst. I would be interested to see his list of great films. Worst movies ever?? without a doubt STRIPTEASE with Demi Moore.(she looks great though) Life of Brian was hillarious from start to finish. Over-rated ? Try "Lost in Translation" I love Bill Murray but this is an O.K. film at best. Also incredibly terrible is the Fassbinder film, Quarelle. OUCH !!


Jim
The only movie I ever left in the middle of was "Action Jackson". INCREDIBLY stupid movie ! I must disagree with an earlier respondant though about the movie "Contact". This was a movie where you truly had to think outside the box. Oh, by the way, "Barry Lyndon" was excruciatingly boring too.


Terry
I only have one word: DAREDEVIL. By FAR the worst movie ever made!


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